Asking for Help Isn't Weakness, It's Strategy 💪
🌀 How to get unstuck in your tech job without feeling incompetent (and actually look smarter)
Alright, let's talk about something we all face but maybe don't discuss enough: asking for help when you feel like you should already know the answer.
When you’re stuck, that little voice can pop up in your head and feed you all sorts of nasty ideas 🤔
'You’ll look incompetent',
'You’re dumb if you can’t figure it out yourself’,
‘What will people think?’
When I started working in tech, being smart and self-sufficient felt absolutely paramount in a technical team where everyone was constantly challenging each other. What I failed to realize in my early years was that it’s much worse when your team finds out after you’ve already spent a week stuck on a bug, and the stakeholders are asking for an explanation on what’s taking so long.
After many mistakes during my first 2 years, I learnt that knowing when to tap someone else's brain to get unblocked quickly is actually smart, resourceful, and shows you respect everyone's time (including your own). It’s how projects move forward and how you actually learn faster. That’s a big reason why companies try to maintain a good ratio of senior and junior team members - it creates a collaborative supportive work environment where you unblock others, and others unblock you.
So, let's get practical on how to ask for help without that sinking feeling you're failing some unwritten test or wasting people's time.
Let’s break it down 👇
Do Your Homework First 🤓
Before you ping a colleague or interrupt someone's flow, make sure you've genuinely tried to solve it yourself. This shows respect for their time and demonstrates your own initiative.
Did you Google it? (Seriously, the number of times the answer is a Stack Overflow post away...)
Checked internal docs/wikis? Maybe the answer is already documented.
Tried debugging or isolating the issue? What steps have you taken?
Read the error message carefully? Sometimes the clue is right there.
📝 HQ Tip
Briefly documenting what you have tried makes it much easier for someone to help you quickly. It shows you're not just dumping the problem on them, and are willing to share the effort you put into trying to resolve the problem on your own.
Frame Your Question Clearly & Concisely 🎯
Vague questions lead to vague answers (or frustration). So be as specific as possible with your question, and with your explanation of the issue.
What is the exact problem? ("I'm getting a
TypeErroron line 52 when processing user input.")What did you expect to happen? ("I expected it to save the user profile to the database.")
What actually happened? (The error message, unexpected output, etc.)
What have you tried already? (See step 1). "I've tried casting the input to a string and checked for null values, but it still fails."
What is your specific question? ("Could you help me understand why this type error is happening, or suggest another approach?")
📝 HQ Tip
If possible, provide necessary context like code snippets (use a github gist or a formatted Slack message), relevant logs, or steps to reproduce the issue. Make it easy for them to understand the situation without a lengthy back-and-forth.
Choose Your Messenger & Moment Wisely 🕰️
Think about who is the best person to ask and the best way to ask them. Not everything requires the same kind of help - some issues could benefit from discussion, and others are better tackled one on one with someone else.
Is it a quick process question? Maybe a team chat channel is fine.
A complex architectural issue? Perhaps schedule a brief 15-minute call with someone on your team or ask during stand-up to see who can help you with.
Need domain expertise? Target the person who owns that feature or system, or has at least made some recent contributions to the code base.
Respect focus time. Avoid interrupting someone deep in concentration if it can wait or be asked asynchronously (like via Slack/Teams message). People also sometimes block off focus time on their calendars so always make sure to check their calendar for busy times.
📝 HQ Tip:
Start your asynchronous message with a clear summary. "Hey [Name], got a quick question about [topic]. Please let me know whenever you have a moment." This allows them to prioritize without feeling pressured to respond instantly.
Be Open to Learning, Not Just the Answer ✅
Frame your request as a learning opportunity. Instead of "Can you fix this?", try "Can you help me understand this?" or "Could you point me in the right direction?". This shows you want to grow, not just get unblocked.
Try to understand their thought process when they are trying to figure out the problem. This will help you grow in the process too. You can even ask them “Oh how did you come to that conclusion”, or “what’s the best way to check for that?” depending on the context. This will help you develop additional thought processes that you can deploy next time you’re stuck with a problem.
The Bottom Line
Asking for help effectively is a crucial skill in tech (and life!). It saves time, prevents bigger issues, fosters collaboration, and ultimately helps you grow faster. By doing your groundwork, being specific, respecting others' time, and focusing on learning, you demonstrate competence, not weakness.
Be resourceful 🌱,
Be mindful 😇,
and know that sometimes the best resource are your teammates 🧑🤝🧑.
That’s it for today! What are your go-to strategies for asking for help? Simply reply to this email or let me know in the comments – let's learn from each other!
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I wish you a great week!
Until next time,
Sonika